The Grief You Feel is Real…

Some crimes are the kind that sneak up on you and take you by surprise…you travel through life  mistakenly believing that, especially when dealing with creditors, that these entities are bound by the same set of rules as you are.  What a blow, when you finally discover that this is a serious misnomer.

Buying a home is, to some, the biggest financial decisions we will ever make.  When you discover that a crime has stripped you of your home and that the criminals will not be brought to justice, it creates a depression that I can only liken to death…death of your soul.

Once you discover that a crime has been committed you go through a grieving process…much like experiencing a death.  At first you are angry, shocked, nauseated and even guilty; wondering what in the world happened that would have caused such a thing to happen to you.  You are angry when you realize that you have been taken advantage of.  You are shocked when you realize that the whole world doesn’t feel the same as you do about the crime that you have discovered.  You start to feel guilty because you look for what it was that you did.  The next thing you know, your body is feeling the crush of the reality of what is happening to your life.

You find yourself crying uncontrollably at times, for what you term as “for no reason at all”.  You start realizing that you have no control and you feel hopeless…this hopelessness leads to depression.  You don’t want to deal with the realities of this world and you climb into a hole, wishing that the earth would just swallow you up.

These are just some of the feelings that people who have lost their homes feel.  It is compounded when they fight for justice, only to realize that there is no real justice for those who can’t afford it.  You lose your zest for life and your trust in your fellow man.  You realize that no matter what you do, it doesn’t matter…and it makes you want to quit trying.

These are very real feeling and they have devastating effects on your mind, body and soul.  Some react by shutting themselves off from their loved ones and the world.  Some react with violence, against themselves and others.  Some don’t react at all.

If you sit down and think about it, this is exactly what the criminals (in this case, the banks) want you to feel.  They want you to feel beat up and not in control; to the point that you don’t want to fight anymore.  I have felt this way many times over the past seven years and it is a very real response that takes over your life.

When you see friendships crumble, because people think that you are not fighting a crime, but actually just wanting a “free house”, you are affected.  How do you deal with this?  I walked away and never thought that I would never look back…but you do look back, and this hurts, knowing that the people you trusted to support you, have the same mentality of the very criminals that have taken it upon themselves to devastate your life.  Was this the way I should have reacted…I don’t know.

But what I do know is that if I walk away from fighting this crime nothing will ever change.  I may have to lose friends, and in reality maybe they weren’t really good friends after all…but I have to look at the bigger picture.  I look at my grandchildren and I know that no matter what I must continue to fight; if not for myself then for them…no matter what the cost.  If I give up, I am not only giving up on myself, I am giving up on their future as well.  If I give up, I am giving up my right as a citizen of this country to demand that criminals be held accountable for their crimes.  If I give up…I give up on truth.

So I may continue to cry, for no reason (in my own mind)…I will have my low days and I have to accept that as part of the process of grieving; but I also need to push forward…standing my ground, because that is how we survive.  For those of you who have felt this way you must remember that tomorrow is another day.  Not all days will be this way, and sooner or later we will get through this; but not by quitting.  These are the effects of crime…and we cannot allow the criminal to win.

Stand with your head held high.  Don’t let others opinions lead  you in life and if you have been wronged…fight.  Fight through the tears; fight through the depression…and know that you do not stand alone in this…it is a mantra I try to tell myself everyday; and sometimes it is very hard to believe.  We can make a difference…you can make a difference…and you are allowed to grieve.


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5 Responses to The Grief You Feel is Real…

  1. Spitfire says:

    I am not promoting anything but I do want to share some important things that have helped me keep from spiraling out of control int depression. The first thing was to simply TAKE ACTION. DISPUTE EVERYTHING. And ask CONTINUOUSLY (every 30 days for the first 6 months) for the pretender lenders to show PROOF that they own the note and the deed TOGETHER and that they havenot been bifurcated. Look into any ASSIGNMENTS that have been recorded on your property. Then do a detailed search on ANY AND ALL names that show up on that ASSIGNMENT. Then look for depositions on ANY of the names that show up on that ASSIGNMENT. If you find that the name(s) are on a known ROBO SIGNER list, then pursue ANY AND ALL avenues to find out if they have been deposed in any mortgage fraud cases. Find the deposition and have a state licensed attorney order it for you. Find others in your situation and HELP them too ~ because you might not be able to afford an attorney on your ow, but collectively, maybe you could all get a group discount (note, this does not happen often, but you only need it to happen ONCE to benefit all) and lastly, try to keep yourself from continuously playing out the “worst case scenario” over and over and over again in your mind. If you feel you cannot stop obsessing over it in the negative, order the course called “Your WIsh Is Your Command” online or through E-Bay and listen to it OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It will help you tremendously if you do. I did ALL of the above and we have challenged multiple entities trying to steal my home and it has been over a year since I quit making payments and they have not responded to any of our requests and have failed to even show up in court thus far. And lastly, HANG IN THERE. Everyday, more and more of the fraud is revealed and with each passing day we grow closer to a collective WIN. Blessings to ALL ~ Keep The Faith!

  2. Thank you so much for your added information…after spending seven years of fighting mortgage fraud, I truly understand how important it is that we share the information that we found. If every person had to “recreate the wheel”, so to speak, most would walk away. We, as citizens of this country, must stand against such crimes, however, the banks do everything in their power to weaken us. People, like you, who share their information with others, are a God send. Please feel free to join our site at (Stop Mortgage Fraud & Forgery! Perpetrated by US Banks) so that others may benefit from your extensive knowledge. You’re encouraging words are appreciated and needed:) God bless you. ~ Sheryl L. Sutter

  3. Spitfire says:

    Sheryl, the thanks should go to you for being so acrive in creating a forum (blog) where this information can be shared. I am certain you are probably also familiar with the Living Lies site and Neil Garfiled. He has also been a wealth of knowledge for me. I also ordered a Fight Foreclosure course in the beginning by someone who calls himself Vince (will try to find the link if snyone is interested) and the first initial steps that the course taught me to take were in and of themselves, lifesaving. Simply because when you first get in that situation where you think you may lose the thing you have worked hardest for (I bought my home single handedly, almost 13 years ago, put 10% down) you kinda fall apart and then become paralyzed ~ which is the WRONG thing to do. You blame yourself and that too, IS THE WRONG THING TO DO. When I finally discovered what all of America is FINALLY now discovering, I became ENRAGED and it was exactly what needed to happen. It lit a fire under my butt to share my story. A lot of people are too embarrassed or feel ashamed. I was a former mortgage broker (2006 I did not renew my license) and so I reached out to all my previous clients that might have been affected by the massive fraud. By reaching out to help them even when I myself was losing my own home, I inadvertently helped myself. I learned so much more, I found compassion and ultimately I found a “seed angel” who paid for my attorney’s retainer fee. So I encourage EVERYONE who might be facing foreclsoure to start taking whatever steps you can RIGHT NOW, without waiting another day, to find out if your mortgage has been sold more than once, assigned and/or if the “servicers or lenders” who you are making payments to ever filed a legal transfer with the county clerks office. If not, then odd’s are that your mortgage is a sham. And even if you keep paying until hell freezes over, you will NEVER EVER have clear title. The ONLY way you will get that is to file for Quiet Title and that is going to cost you close to $5k. Take Action NOW.

  4. It is hard, especially when you have worked in the industry, to discover that your beliefs about your career choices are morally challenged. I can relate to that. I was a tax assessor and I, too, did not renew my certification. When I became an assessor, I felt that I could make a difference, and in a lot of ways I did; however, when you have to deal with the “good ole’ boy” mentality of slander, lies and deceit, you quickly realize that you cannot change those that do not want change. I became so disillusioned by the whole process. However, it took fighting this fight to finally break me. I realized that government was not for the ones with pure intentions. I discovered it was a stepping stone for those who had money, to promote their agendas…and had very little to do with the “common good”. I have always been a numbers person, and believed that, especially when it came to your property taxes, it was (and is) very important that the numbers used to generate those taxes be correct…it is the only way to find uniformity and fairness to all. I actually managed to bring (most) peoples taxes down in the jurisdiction that I worked for. They couldn’t fire me, so instead when my contract came to fruition, I just wasn’t allowed to apply for the position again…this of course happened right smack-dab in the middle of this fight against the banks. I felt broken. I felt that I couldn’t make a difference. I have been unemployed since 2007; however I did get an associates degree and hope to be able to secure financing to continue on to hopefully my bachelors/masters degree…but I find that I have to struggle daily to keep “my chin up” so to speak. We have been so financially devastated by all of these events…some days are definitely a challenge. I tell myself everyday “and this too shall pass” and work diligently to keep my faith in focus. We have (hopefully) found an attorney who is willing to go after the damages that we were suppose to receive…but, after what we have been through I am just waiting for those words…”we need a $1,500 retainer”…:( I have spent months putting our story out there, and will continue until we succeed. I keep it in my mind that I am fighting this fight for my grandchildren…so they are not negated the right to be able to live the American dream…it makes me stronger:)

    • Spitfire says:

      Amen to that sister. If we do not stand up now, the dream of home ownership for our children and cgrandchildren will become a fairy tale. That thought does strengthen me for another day of continuing “the fight”. I am proud to know that there are others like me. G-d bless you, your family and your struggles. May they make warriors of ALL of us!

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