Throughout all that we have endured, I have discovered that it is in the silent moments, when I am able to sift through everything and get back to what my heart really wants. Its in those moments I gather strength of conviction and soundness of mind. Those are difficult feats to achieve when you are caught up in a crime not of your making. Your head is reeling, not making any sense of anything that is happening to you. You have believed your whole life that the justice system would stand behind you every step of the way when a crime is committed. Then you discover that this is not the true way of the world. Your mind is filled with trying to make sense out of it all and you become void in your ability to trust in a system you spent your whole life believing in.
Friends and family are chiming in; the news is giving you their twist on the situation and you are being beat into the ground, every single minute trying to figure a way out of this twisted mess you find yourself embroiled in. You don’t see the others, you only see your situation. We have all become complacent and now we are finding out that this seed was planted years ago, and now the weed have overtaken the garden.
Once you have figured out your place in this whole mess, you discover that you have not been alone at all; even though the solitude is deafening in the beginning. You discover that other hearts are beating to the same heartbreaking melody. You discover that the family down the road with five kids were forced out on the streets because some bank decided a criminal act was the way to do business. You discover that there are deadened souls all around you. The country you love is in the hands of the banks and there is little that you have been allowed to do about it.
The whole world is tumbling around you and you are doing everything in your power not to be sucked into the cyclonic winds of destruction; so much so that eventually, you go off by yourself and allow yourself to be weak; you allow yourself to cry the river of tears that goes along with this type of pain; you allow yourself to cleanse.
When the sobbing is over, and you realize that what matters in your life is your life, you stand up, steady yourself and march forward. Forward against all of those that say you shouldn’t or you couldn’t; forward against all the naysayers in the world. You stand on the conviction that this country was made great, not by our government, but by men and women, just like you and me. It was founded on truth and the love of God…and it is through truth and our faith in God that we will prevail.
Will we have more nights of crying? Most likely. Will we have moments when we don’t see the world as a very nice place and wish all the bad seeds would go take a long walk off a short pier, you can bet your bottom dollar. However, nothing good comes easy and if we are ever going to win this fight against the banks, we are going to have to be strong in our faith and steadfast to our convictions. This country does not belong to the banks it belongs to us.
An Apology to Our Neighbors, Our Neighborhood and Our City was written during one of those silent moments. I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to get my message across, praying for a way to stop all the noise. Even though I have to work diligently to get the message out, I know the message is the one that I needed to send, because it came from my heart.
So, if you haven’t done so, take some time to seek some silence and really listen to what your heart is telling you. Don’t allow negativity and the burden to become more important than the truth; and the trust that our heart knows what we should do…we just need to take time to listen to it…in the silence.