This week has run the gamut from self-imposed despair to revealing, once again, that there is always hope. I realized a long time ago, that no matter what my husband and I have been faced with throughout our twenty-one years of marriage, we always manage to survive; we always are led to a way to get through those moments that seem insurmountable. To not look at this as a constant working of God in our lives would be the tragedy.
To truly understand why I look at this week as miraculous, you need to understand what the past seven years represents to me. Seven years ago I was making a nice salary, my husband’s business was strong, our son had just married the woman of his dreams and we were slowly, but surely, recovering from the tragic loss that had occurred three short years earlier. Seven years ago, we thought that our lives were moving in the right direction.
In an instant, through first the attempted illegal foreclosure and then shortly thereafter, the discovery of the forgery to the mortgage, our lives took a tumble down a ladder that we had spent years trying to climb. As a direct result of the burdens that were placed upon us for standing up against such a crime, I wavered in my ability to do my job. I was very sensitive and as a tax assessor you need a very tough skin; mine was gone. My mind was filled more with the drama that was unfolding in our lives. I could not concentrate on dealing with a crooked township board and our lives as well. So after years of training and climbing the “corporate ladder”; I had to walk away. I not only had to walk away, I had to be good with it. I had to understand that people were not going to understand. The only thing that I had going for me at that time is that I walked away successful. I did my job and I did it well; I just couldn’t take the pressure with everything else that was starting to transpire in my life. I walked away one month before we would win an avoided mortgage. I had hope; however, that was quickly dashed.
The next five years, as I look back, were a whirlwind of disappointments, one after another. We would win one war only to be faced with another; bouncing from court to court, taking years from our lives and chipping away at our very souls. This was how this week started out, like a whirlwind of disappointments. I finally reached a breaking point; a breach of faith and a defining moment in this week of distresses.
After my mini-meltdown and the tears dried in my eyes, I truly felt better, even though my circumstances were somewhat the same. I was able to clear my thoughts and figure out a way to make it through the predicaments that were in front of us. Then the email from the attorney came and I saw that for the miracle that it was; never expecting any more than that, I sang praises to my Lord and felt relief. However, what I didn’t realize was that the email was only the tip of the iceberg.
Our attorney forwarded to me, the complaint that he had filed on Wednesday of this week. While I was falling apart in my mind and heart, God was already working through someone else to get us the relief that we so desperately need. The complaint took me totally by surprise. Not only is our legal representation going after the insurance proceeds, he is also asking for three times that amount for damages. I almost fell off my chair and immediately praised God. I don’t know if we will truly get that much money, but that fact that there is a possibility sends my mind into a tailspin. But, (There is always a but!) the reality is that the true fight is for the original amount of the insurance check. Although getting damages in this case would be a life changer for us, I know better than to count our chickens before they are hatched. The beauty of this, for me, is the fact that we are under the thirty day mark to know which way this is going; but at least we will know. Should they try to fight us, we have demanded a trial by jury. So, even as wonderful as this all is, there is still a waiting game to be done. Hopefully the shorter, less painful route; however, if not, all I can say is “been there, done that”. I will stand with my God and depend on him to get me through whatever it is that we have to get through; and in the end we will come out of this, as whole human beings that can truly begin to live our lives again.
This week started as a menacing storm bearing down on us; however, in the background God was working his magic and I didn’t even realize it. I have also noted that the weather outside was reflecting the tempestuous week that I had been having; casting grey and gloom. Yesterday was the first day that we actually had a “partly cloudy” day; you know the ones that give you hope. That hope came in the form of a summons and complaint and all I can do is say “Thank You God”. Thank you for showing me that blessings do not just occur; that they manifest themselves over time and through others. Thank you for showing me that no matter how bad it gets; you will always be there for me. Thank you for teaching me about the manifestations of a blessing.