Recently, through social media, I was again reminded of the pain that this situation has caused to homeowners across this nation. The sting has left many paralyzed with fear, anger and disbelief. The rage over the victimization has reached a boiling point. People, who are so desperately in need of someone to listen to them, show their frustration at the system and at the very people who are trying to help them. Their pain has blinded them to the fact that they are not alone; and as hard as they try to connect, their own personal pain is at such a point, nobody else’s pain matters, because theirs is all encompassing. I have been there and I struggle every day to ensure that I keep mindful that this is not a personal war, but a nationwide battle.
That’s a hard pill to swallow when it’s your home and your life being torn apart. I have learned many lessons during this eight year journey; and one of them is that, even though you are emotionally torn apart by your situation, you are in the most emotionless battle of your life. Not on your side; but definitely on the side of the law. No one in the judicial setting cares, outside possibly your attorney, if you have one. The court of law is one of the most sobering and dispassionate places you can ever find yourself. It doesn’t matter that you cry yourself to sleep every night; it doesn’t matter that you have been emotionally stripped to the bone or that you ended up divorce due to the stress. What matters is that you present your case with absolute precision. What matters is that you leave your emotion at home and wrap your mind around the stone-cold, hard facts.
I, personally, am an extremely emotional person. I can barely make it through certain television programs without, at least, a half box of tissues. Therefore, this was an extremely hard lesson for me to grasp. This process was crushing my soul and all my attorney could say was that I needed to quit crying over spilt milk. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG! How are you going to say that to a person who has had their life flipped upside down through no fault of their own? How can you negate the emotional distress that these crimes caused in our lives? But, alas, in the courtroom, emotion has no bearing; and in that respect, my attorney was right. Crying over spilt milk in a courtroom is about as effective as throwing a towel in a bathtub of water and expecting that lone towel to soak up the wetness; it ain’t gonna happen.
In our case, the issue at point right now is that this particular bank is not the bank that committed the initial crime; however, instead of pointing the bank toward the offenders, the court is looking squarely at us to pay for the crimes of the other. As infuriating as that is, here is my take on the situation. After eight years, I have a fairly, firm grasp on my emotions; and now I am at a stage where I only feel determined. I am not angry anymore, because I realize, for one, that I am not alone in this war. For many years I had only my own thoughts to deal with this craziness. Thanks to social media, I discovered that I was far from being alone. The journey may have had its differences, but the overall journey was the same. We are all fighting crimes against us and our property. The laws that exist are being unrealistically twisted by lawyers that have unlimited amounts of funding to pursue their misrepresentations with vigor and vim.
It is not an easy task to bring your emotions under control; but you are the only one that can. You are the only one with the power to reign in that which will not serve you well. You are the only one that can bring you the peace of mind you are searching for, while you continue this seemingly, unending battle.
If you don’t find a way to keep your emotions in check, you will never find the peace you seek. Many of you have heard the phrase “mind over matter;” that is exactly what this is. You need to focus on what you are doing right; why you are doing what you are doing and realize that you can live with the decisions you have made; because you made these decisions to fight because it is the right thing to do. You decided to fight, not just for yourself, but for the generations that will come after you. If you do not stand your ground now, against the crimes that have been committed against you, they will become common place; and by the time your children are old enough to own their own home, there won’t be any homes that will be available for them to own. The banks will possess all property and will have gained it illegally.
It is not easy getting a grasp on anger, but remember that anger serves no purpose, especially to you. Those that experience your anger will negate your rationality and use it squarely against you. Your credibility will be shot. Controlled anger can be used skillfully, whereas, screaming tirades will surely gain you no audience. Lose the anger, and if you can’t seem to get rid of it; use it to your advantage, not your demise.